Santaland Diaries
- ISBN-10
- 0575068221
- ISBN-13
- 9780575068223
- Category
- Christmas stories, American
- Pages
- 134
- Language
- English
- Published
- 1999
- Author
- David Sedaris
Description
SantaLand Diaries collects six of David Sedaris¿s most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice-scraper. ¿SantaLand Diaries¿, ¿Dinah the Christmas Whore¿ and ¿Seasons Greetings from the Dunbar Family!!!¿ ¿ all three of these previously published stories have been set into a refreshing new typeface and joined by a trio of equally charming newcomers. This drinking man¿s companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And oh, what a book it is! ¿My costume is green. I wear green velvet knickers, a yellow turtleneck, a forest-green velvet smock, and a perky stocking cap decorated with spangles. This is my work uniform. My elf name is Crumpet ¿¿ ¿ ¿SantaLand Diaries¿ ¿Were I to receive a riding vacuum cleaner or even a wizened proboscis monkey, it wouldn¿t please me half as much as knowing we were the only family in the neighborhood with a prostitute in our kitchen. From this moment on, the phrase ¿Ho, ho, ho¿ would take on a whole different meaning¿ ¿ ¿Dinah, the Christmas Whore¿ ¿If you happened to stand over four feet tall, the agony awaiting you at Sacred Heart Elementary began the moment you took your seat. These were mean little chairs corralled into a ¿theater¿ haunted by the lingering stench of industrial-strength lasagne¿ ¿ ¿Front Row Centre with Thaddeus Bristol¿
Get the book
Other editions
Similar books
-
A Stockingful of Joy
By Justine Dare, Mary Jo Putney, Jill BarnettIt was a palace , really , almost as large as Blenheim or Castle Howard . " I'd half forgotten the candles , too . Yet now that I see them , they remind me of everything I've ever loved about Harley . " “ I'd given up believing that I'd ...
-
At Christmas Time the World Grows Young
By Amy Bruner AlmyAt Christmas Time the World Grows Young
-
Christmas Together
By Karen Rose Smith, , Richard G. SmithThis omnibus features 'Twelfth Night Proposal' by Karen Rose Smith and 'Rescued by the Magic of Christmas' by Melissa McClone.
-
Seduced by Christmas
By Yvonne Lindsay, Sandra MartonThe two romantic tales included in this book are 'The Sicilian's Christmas Bride', written by Sandra Marton and 'The Boss's Christmas Seduction', written by Yvonne Lindsay.
-
Yuletide Weddings
By James W. Moore, Beverley, AntonThree Christmas stories in one volume, set in medieval England, in which three fair maidens are about to join three lords in the blessed union of marriage.
-
Joy to the World: A Regency Christmas Collection
By Carolyn|Barratt Miller, Erica)"In Joy to the World, three popular authors come together to offer a heartwarming collection of holiday Regency romance.
-
Volshebnai︠a︡ dolina: Rozhdestvenskai︠a︡ skazka
By Ellen Kushner, Richard W. BurhansVolshebnai︠a︡ dolina: Rozhdestvenskai︠a︡ skazka
-
A Child's Christmas Wish
By Julianna Morris, Susan Meier, Janet TronstadEvery child wants a family at Christmas. This book contains three heart-warming festive stories.
-
Bartholomew's Christmas Adventure: A Bear's Tale
By Roger K. DeBry, Susan ChiocchiBartholomew, a soft white stuffed bear who wants to belong to a beautiful little girl in a mansion, climbs to the top of the toy sack in Santa's sleigh and falls out.
-
Murder at Christmas and Other Stories: From Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine
By Georges Simenon, James Powell, John MortimerFrom Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine John Mortimer, James Powell, Georges Simenon, Julian Symons Cynthia Manson. This suspense - filled collection gathers together some of today's best mystery ...