Train Wreck: A Tale of Sex, Drugs, Violence, and Monkeys
- ISBN-10
- 1695858476
- ISBN-13
- 9781695858473
- Series
- Train Wreck
- Pages
- 140
- Language
- English
- Published
- 2019-09-26
- Author
- Elizabeth F. Simons
Description
Enjoy the series hollywood scouts describe as "Tarantino directs Dumb and Dumber."Max and Luie, two dumb but devoted best friends, find themselves in a fist fight with a pair of kung-fu ninja midgets. The chase that follows leads them through a swamp, aboard a train, and through a series of events you will have to read to believe. From Chapter One:So there I was, sitting on a bus picking my nose with one hand and scratching my balls with the other, staring out the window at a patch of the ugliest country on God's own earth. Once, it had been some kind of paradise with rolling hills and green trees and probably unicorns shi**ing rainbows on the heads of happy little bunnies. Now it was just a scabby patchwork of shotgun shacks, overgrown fields, and blasted quarries full of nasty water. I was nursing a hangover and trying my hardest not to think about midgets having sex.It wasn't my fault. Well, the hangover was a little bit my fault, but the midget sex thing I could only blame on the couple across the aisle. Both little people, one a chubby blonde in a white party dress that almost covered her ass, the other a guy in a yellow polyester three-piece suit. He'd had on a green pimp hat when they boarded an hour before, but it had since fallen off to reveal a comb-over so epic I had to give him credit for optimism. They were making out like each other's stomachs were full of cocaine.--In the hilarious tradition of Joe Lansdale, Norma Partridge, Christopher Moore, A. Lee Martinez, and Warren Ellis, these short and punchy stories will have you laughing fit to fart.
