We can all put on a smile and brave the world, but what do we do when it all becomes too much? As people around me lose their minds, my own mental health goes unnoticed and continues to degrade. I can only hide so much turmoil behind my mask of bravado and delusions of hope. As a single parent to an autistic child, I painfully await the return of his mother, but sadly I fear she is a lost cause; a fate that I will not share as long as there something to look forward to, yet sometimes all I want to do is give up... I am more damaged than people will ever know, but I'm still expected to navigate through life and its many difficulties without question. I must wade through this scary reality where even the pettiest of dramas could send me into despair. The repetition of my self destructive actions must come to an end if I'm to be a functional part of this mad world.