Die Empty

Die Empty
ISBN-10
1941918239
ISBN-13
9781941918234
Category
Fiction
Pages
178
Language
English
Published
2017-08-30
Author
Kirk Jones

Description

middle age n. 1. Spending one year's disposable income on vinyl figures, only to realize a complete He-Man collection isn't going to make your current life any better. Beast Man and Cyclops don't give a fuck about you or your failing marriage. 2. Resolving to die empty and alone. 3. Death showing up at your office door in need of a vacation. 4. Designing goods for Death that inspire consumer-driven fatalities-faulty steering mechanisms, toxic dishwasher detergent inserts that look like jumbo fruit snacks-anything that will help tip people over the edge before Death has to pursue them. 5. Waking to find your house chock-full of the merchandise you created, merchandise designed to kill. Now everything from pouring your cereal to activating your car's cigarette lighter has become a death trap. Yet as your world falls apart, no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to fucking die.

Other editions

Similar books

  • Earthly Pleasures: A Novel
    By Karen Neches

    Ryan's photograph had been replaced with Justin Timberlake's. "Get in Synch with Justin on Earthly Pleasures," read the caption. “What are you gaping at?

  • Serial Killer in Paris
    By Thomas Donahue, Karen Donahue

    Just like I know Justin Timberlake. I met him once. But I don't know him.” He nodded. “He's in the business. Geez, you people. So now the police are going ...

  • Balancing Act
    By Jonathan Plummer, Karen Hunter

    There was one sexy Maxwell hit after the next, a few Lionel Richie classics, some— thing by India.Arie and Justin Timberlake, and, of course, John Legend.

  • Truly, Madly, Deeply: A Novel
    By Karen Kingsbury

    A few years ago the department hosted a lip-sync challenge to a Justin Timberlake song, and nearly a hundred community members took part in the video.

  • Dads in Progress Collection: An Anthology
    By Karen Rose Smith

    ... Timberlake's cat and how she climbs up the curtains,” Corrie offered. Kyle looked entranced by that idea. Sam had just reached the doorway when Kyle ...

  • The Daddy Plan
    By Karen Rose Smith

    “I'll tell him all about Mrs. Timberlake's cat and how she climbs up the curtains,” Corrie offered. Kyle looked entranced by that idea.

  • Two Become One
    By Karen Mason

    Before Farrah could even agree, Justin Timberlake was blaring at her down the phone. Farrah wasn't sure if she liked the thought of strange organisations ...

  • The Casual Vacancy
    By J. K. Rowling

    Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations? A big novel about a small town, The Casual Vacancy is J.K. Rowling's first novel for adults. It is the work of a storyteller like no other.

  • L'amore che non c'è
    By Karen Lojelo

    La magia vera c'era stata. ... Se conoscete la canzone Timbaland, Nelly Furtado ft Justine Timberlake capirete la natura del ballo e che il seguito furono ...

  • Un dangereux pari - Un si séduisant célibataire
    By Karen Booth, Katherine Garbera

    Soudain la musique changea, passant sur Can't Stop the Feeling ! de Justin Timberlake. ... C'est la chanson du film Les Trolls, crut-elle bon de préciser.